CEO in Barcelona or Remote

This was an April Foold 2016 joke

Job Description

We are sad to see Tim go, we knew that could happen but didn't want to believe it. Anyway, the only one thing he said to us before stepping down was that he wanted someone from the mediterranian culture to replace him. As strange as it might sound, just to pay respects to his good knowledge we'll follow his advice, it's thanks to him that we've achieved the highest valuation ever for a company.

So we are on the job to look for a european candidate to become the Emperor of  Sillicon Valley, and we've decided to start in Barcelona. Tim said once that he liked the openess of the city as well as its world famous Patatas Bravas at the Tomás Bar. We expect to find the right match among those 2 million souls inhabiting this city, capital of the region (country?, nation?, community?) called Catalonia.

What we want from you is that you LOVE Apple products and that you naturally despise Android's and even the people using Android and Windows devices. Also you'll need to work an average of at least 5 hours per day. You'll be at the top of corporate power so the code dress will be strict, stick to our trademark CEOs jeans and a black t-shirt with long sleeves. As for your background we'll need someone who has at least many years of experience on hardware development, but don't be scared if you can make us believe you are really passionate we can leave it at just few months of experience, we have a strict non discrimintaion policy. Day to day duties include: dispatching with Jonathan Ive once every 15 minutes and see how the time goes by.

Skills

- Hoding at least Cicles Formatius de Grau Mig (CFGM) in a Catalan School
- Passionate
- Liberal
- Passionate  (again)
- Same sense of humor as El Rubius
- Good at taking decisions like Mariano Rajoy
- Expert in negotiating at Els Encants flea market
- English, Catalan, Russian, Swedish, Chinese, Portuguese, British, Swahili, Indonesian, Italian, Mongolian, Georgian, Lating, Greek, German -
- Spanish, Hungarian, Dutch, Norwegian, Occitan, Egyptian, Malian, Guinean, Kreole and Japanes are a plus.
- French - no need french
- Believing that Safari is NOT the new Internet Explorer
- Willing to visit Foxconn once every decade

Benefits

- Working at Apple remotely from beautiful Barcelona
- Multicultural team of at least 729 different nationalities
- Being praised even when not deserved
- Allowed to shout at everyone in the room randomly
- The newest Mac of your choosing
- Take your birthday off
- Piing Pong mondays!!
- Ashtanga Yoga weekly hackatons
- Nice compensation.

Attach a cover letter telling us your motivations and explaining why the world is much much much better since Apple is around (smuck! ;)).  We'll respond in a few days to the candidates of our choosing. If we haven't replied to you in 473 days consider your application hasn't make it and move on.

And... Happy April Fools day